"When I try to analyze my own cravings, motives, actions and so forth, I surrender to a sort of retrospective imagination which feeds the analytic faculty with boundless alternatives and which causes each visualized route to fork and re-fork without end in the maddeningly complex prospect of my past." (Chapter 4, page 13)
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Humbert Humbert speaks about a time when he was with Annabelle. They were in a secluded spot at a beach, flirting, and H.H. expressed that they were getting close to sexual interaction when two men walking by caught them.
After remembering that summer with his beloved Annabelle, Humbert Humbert starts to wonder if that is when he became stuck in such a peculiar thought process. He contemplates the idea that he did not always think of adolescent females in the way he does now. Even though he is self-aware of his obsession, he seems to lack the emotional aspect. He does not see his abnormality and when looking back at the particular memory, he does not seem to be looking for anything, just wondering.
After remembering that summer with his beloved Annabelle, Humbert Humbert starts to wonder if that is when he became stuck in such a peculiar thought process. He contemplates the idea that he did not always think of adolescent females in the way he does now. Even though he is self-aware of his obsession, he seems to lack the emotional aspect. He does not see his abnormality and when looking back at the particular memory, he does not seem to be looking for anything, just wondering.
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H.H. recollects how he felt after being interrupted by the bystanders who gawked at the couple's attempt with intimacy and he suggests that because he did not get the chance to sexually experiment with Annabelle, he had to wander into some kind of "retrospective imagination." Therefore, he looks back on the moment and lets his imagination do the rest. He allows his memory to be distorted into "boundless alternatives" causing his creative mind to "fork and re-fork" through the possibilities of what could have happened. H.H. combing through his memory, going through “boundless” possibilities of something that he cannot control anymore is quite obsessive and suggests how H.H. is a very contemplative individual. Throughout the story, his conscious is constantly active and more often than not, it’s thinking of his attraction towards nymphets --or what could happen if he had the nearest nymphet in his control. Besides intense desire, Humbert Humbert does not associate other emotions with most of his thoughts.
H.H. lacks the expression of doubt, regret, or any emotion of the kind, possibly because he wishes not to believe that a nymphet could do that to him. He is constantly struggling with his immoderate want for control over his adolescent peers, however someone or something having control over him could be difficult for Humbert Humbert to face. H.H. recreating conclusions to something that he can no longer change is a way of making himself feel as if he is in control and would have been no matter how it could have ended.
H.H. lacks the expression of doubt, regret, or any emotion of the kind, possibly because he wishes not to believe that a nymphet could do that to him. He is constantly struggling with his immoderate want for control over his adolescent peers, however someone or something having control over him could be difficult for Humbert Humbert to face. H.H. recreating conclusions to something that he can no longer change is a way of making himself feel as if he is in control and would have been no matter how it could have ended.